Tuesday, May 15

Lote, Glenn, Stuart and telephones

So, because he's probably pissed, Lote Tuqiri, with speaker 'phone engaged, rings up Michael O'Connor (Australian selector) and asks what he thinks of Peter Hewat. Hewat's in the pub at the time with most of the NSW team, and listens to O'Connor (who thinks he's having a private conversation with Lote) bag him. Lote is a DILL. It's not clear at this stage what the consequences will be.
Meanwhile, many years ago, Glenn was responsible for a telephone gaffe. He'd rung Stuart, who was staying with Cathie and me, to wish him well on his 21st birthday. Cathie and I were saving furiously for our big trek to London and probably didn't have a good reputation at the time for our hospitality. Stuart had just told Glenn that he was having a really good time on the night but I took the 'phone before Glenn could answer and I heard him say, "I'll bet you're paying for it yourself." Charming. Stuart actually had a hard time with us during his 21st year. I took him to dinner with a school-teacher mate and someone overdosed in the house toilet. I'm convinced Stuart was in the car when we dumped the body at the door of the Balmain hospital. I think the bloke lived but I can't be sure.
I know this is a family secret but I made a small error of judgement once while I was sitting with Sarah at a Wallabies game when I criticised Wendell for not passing. Wendell's family was sitting in front of us. Diplomats would describe it as an "uncomfortable" situation. Some weeks later I had a call from Wendell at 11.50pm telling me he loved Joe and would ALWAYS pass to him if he had the opportunity. I think I could hear Joe in the background but you know what the noise is like in pubs at that time of the night. Lesson from these stories: the telephone isn't always your friend...
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6 comments:

Newcastle Roffs said...

Good call on Lotta Tequila, Grant - with mates like him who needs enemies. Nothing will happen to him of course because the Waratahs think they need him too much. "Don't upset Lotta - weve paid so much for him"
I do vividly recall my first (and last) party in Sydney with you and the junkie I actually thought was dead. Welcome to the big city, country boy! I didn't realise we were taking him to a hospital! I thought that because we put the body in the trunk, we were dumping the body somewhere.

8:20 pm
Anonymous said...

and I can confirm the Wendell incident. He wanted to call uncle grant, who perhaps did at some prior stage commit the cardinal sin. Abusing players when sitting in the family section at the rugby has a risk-reward attached to it... Reward - validly expresing an opinion on a player (probably correctly). Risk - the player finding out and calling you on the phone for clarification.

Wendell having any love for me probably implies that at the time he may have been enjoying some of that stuff that ended his career.

Talking of risk - reward, I am weighing up going for a few beers tonight. Reward - a good time with a few mates. Risk - having one too many and passing out on the floor of the hospital, missing the birth of my first child, and being reminded about it every day thereafter for the rest of my life. Surely with so many cousins a rogue uncle missed a birth or two, I need a precedent. Anyone?

1:33 am
WA ROFF's said...

Here's one for you:
I was apparently a couple of weeks late (something I have never lived down) and mum and dad had "given up on me" (direct quote) and gone out to a party, where dad was drinking for all 3 of us. In the wee hours of the morning mum goes into labour and dad has to drive the 45minutes from Coolamon to Wagga in his brilliant state. To top off the story the nurse at the hospital claimed "Oh, poor man, all pale and nervous at the birth of his first child..." and preceeded to insist on him eating some breakfast (scrambled eggs)....I will leave the rest to your imagination but i think its safe to claim your uncle rock wasn't "all" there at my birth.

And its not like i have held any grudges, feelings of abandonment or anything so i think you're in the clear Joe...

k8

5:44 am
Newcastle Roffs said...

Stuart, prior to the birth of Amelia, did take 30 minutes to decide what to wear. Contractions at that point were 2 minutes apart. When he finally took me to hospital, the nursing staff had to wrestle the gas from him - " No sir. It is not for you. Your wife is the one in labour." To which he (Stuart) replied.......

10:16 pm
grant said...

I've been trying to find the hard copy verision of the Roff Report where Damian detailed his version of attending the birth of, I think, his youngest. From memory, he was asked to remove his golf shoes and spent most of the birth vomiting over the balcony outside the birth room. Can anyone find the original confession?
News soon about the new sons/daughters/nephews/cousins - how exciting is this?

8:00 pm
damian said...

Grant, it wasnt pretty, but not as bad you make out. Good luck Joe, I still have no idea of the role of the dad at the birth.

10:18 pm

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