Prince Andrew names his princess

In a surprise announcement, one of the princes of Adelaide, Andrew, has announced his engagement to the lady Sarah Harding. Prince Andrew denies that the engagement has any relevance to his recent 30th birthday, but his press release commences with the words "So tired...."? Andrew's parents are delighted with the news and look forward to having a daughter in the family.

Prince Rowan, in an emotional statement, said that the announcement was inconsiderate considering that the World Cup and Wimbledon should have rightly taken prominence. "Call me a traditionalist" he said.

Meanwhile, insiders have expressed concern that Lady Sarah may not necessarily know of Prince Andrew's propensity to cross-dressing and a secret addiction to Guns 'N Roses.

The Nation is engrossed with the couple's engagement and we at the Roff Report wish them all the best. No date has yet been set for the marriage. Prince Andrew was heard to say; "I am still in a fog!"

Ashley

Happy Birthday Andrew!

Many strange things have happened in the Roff family over the years: Nick managed to find a university that would accept him; Milly discovered a way to be a vegetarian without ever actually having to eat vegetables; and Uncle Damian learned in his late 40's of the "serviette". However, harnessing the full magical power of the serviette appears to at times remain beyond his grasp. One day, Uncle Damian, one day. 

 

Another incredible thing happened over the weekend: Andrew "Egg" Roff' had his 30th Birthday and invited his relatives. Alaine, Zac and I made our way over for the festivities to represent the Roffs. Whilst in Adelaide, I discovered a number of things that blew my mind: 

 

1.       There is a Zac in the world taller than Zac. Zac Roff Was swiftly replaced; 

2.       There is no shortage of daggy jumpers in Adelaide;

3.       Roast chestnuts are ace;

4.       Rowan can organise an entire playlist for a lengthy party that consists entirely of Adelaide 'musicians';

5.       There is a wine called the Charblanc;

6.       The "Double Down Burger" is still available for purchase despite the best efforts of medical science to see it consigned to the dustbin of history.

 

In a viking-style raid the three of us swept in to town, pillaged all of the delicious food Cathie had to offer, plundered all of the thirst-quenching alcohol Ashley could provide and changed the course of human history by being the first people to buy a beer at the top of Mt Lofty AND THEN TAKE IT OUTSIDE TO DRINK WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE IN THE MAGNIFICENT VIEW!

 

We were treated like rock stars and on behalf of Alaine and Zac, I would like to thank all of the Adelaide Roffs for their wonderful hospitality and wish Andrew a Happy Birthday! He is a good egg.

 

Who has the next birthday?

Jaguar Shark in the Phillipines

This is the second batch of photos and video from the camera dad and julia got us. So I can lose it now and it will still be worth it. This is from a few weeks ago. Annika was the best host imaginable and she is even funnier and grown uppier than I remembered. Thanks Panic. These pics are all from Apos Island. We were there for Easter and watched Passion of the Christ at the local village projected onto a sheet.