Amy's first Eucharist

The Making of: We Don't Dance

You guy's should never have encouraged me.
Here's the "Making Of".

late breaking news..

Poor old Dom: just another day at school and a kick of the footy in the short break. He reached down to pick up the ball and someone stood on his hand, breaking the middle finger just above the knuckle joint. He and Jules spent the rest of the day in hospital and his left hand is now out of action until further notice: no soccer, no cricket and no fretboard work on his new guitar. A knee reconstruction and a broken hand by 14 years - can anyone beat that? There is something of a family precedent: Adam and a mate were in a park once when Adam was maybe five or six and he said,"I'm going to point at an ant with my finger and I want you to hit it with a brick". As instructed, his mate hit his finger with a brick and split the bone in half, requiring 60 micro-stitches to reconstruct it. It still looks a bit funny - get him to show you next time you see him. In the meantime, remember Dom in your prayers so that whatever curse he's under can be lifted.

Chin Faces - Part 3

It's amazing what you can do with two berocca tablets, some blue tac, and alot of enforced parental time at home.

hey all, we are back

For those of you who do not know, alaine and i went to New Zealand for two weeks to go snowboarding, we did a bit of other stuff inbetween, this is the canyon swing, two weeks of travelling and these are the only photos we have. enjoy. Its a canyon swing- great fun.
the snow was excellent but now ive conquored new zealand i think ill aim north of the equator.

Aunty Betty and Uncle Ken

Just had a couple of days in Sydney where I caught up with Adam and Monica for an excellent feed at one of Adam's many clubs on the foreshore of Bondi Beach. We walked home afterwards around the coastal walk which was also excellent. Both Adam and Amanda spent the weekend in Newcastle partly to visit Cathie but also, for Amanda, to go to the Countdown show which is about to tour nationally. Amanda's flatmate, Lilly, plays in the stage band.
It was also a good opportunity to catch up with Aunty Betty and Uncle Ken who are both aging very gracefully. Aunty Bet reeled off a list of letters she's been trying to write to various members of the family but is frustrated by her declining ability in this area. You can be sure she's always thinking about the Roffs, though. We talked briefly about Annika who I described as 19 and was immediately corrected: apparently she's 20. Joe and Sara are on the "to do" letter list and she was interested in Tom's achievements last weekend at the Victorian Championships, asking after not only Sally but Chloe and Patrick as well. She's still carving-knife sharp. Uncle Ken was in fine form and was grateful that I wasn't able to complete the original Plan A which was to buy him a copy of the new Shane Warne biography at the airport. They get a glimpse of the blog from time to time courtesy of Martin arriving with his laptop but really appreciate any contact. Family pictures are good, as are letters, of course, and the mailing address is Unit 23, Lourdes Retirement Village, 95 Stanthope Rd, Killara (insert postcode, whatever it is).

strange land...

This story begins as all good tales should.
So we were out drinking one night....
in a bar in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Picture the bar from "Love Actually" where 'Colin' goes to meet american girls, except there's no girls, just a few scattered crazy looking hill-billies in deer hunting gear and neon lights advertising Budwieser beer. Oh and a jukebox playing very very country music. You can imagine my suprise when it started playing a familiar tune...."Mm-mmmm...I love this bar" !! I must admit "Neils bar" was a better version but I always suspected Uncle Glenn might have made that one up, but as it turns out it's a real song, and around here Uncle Glenn's taste in country music is considered very fashionable.....
yes i have indeed entered into a paralell universe.
I was half expecting after that to hear "It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your arse off all day..." and other great hits of the country music channel.

Anyways that was my weird coincidence for the week, went to an Irish festival last weekend...crazy-drunken-musically brilliant-irish.....and recommend the band Enter the Haggis.

Uncle Grant here's a pic for you: Look - both hands!





















Luv Kate

Happy Birthday

Today is the 159th Birthday of Sir John Forrest, a man who has loomed large over Australia's history since his birth (if you haven't already worked it out) in 1847. He was a noted explorer, the first Premier of Western Australia (holding that position for 10 years), the first Minister of Defence in the Commonwealth Parliament and the first Australian offered (I don't like to say 'raised to') a British Peerage. He also weighed close to 20 stone when he died in 1918. Happy Birthday. But perhaps he ought to skip the cake.

-Daniel

Tom Terrific

I'm not long back from the seventeenth Victorian International Open Championships (Judo) where Tom covered the family in glory with a great win in his weight class. He managed Ippons (the judo version of a knockout) it his preliminary bouts against two Victorian fighters which put him into the final against David Bielby from NSW who he fought recently in the finals at the nationals in Perth. I missed the first fight but saw it on video and it was clearly a comfortable victory. His second bout was against a bloke named Mark Anthony who looked disturbingly like Bruce Lee, but Tom's main throw was very convincing and Tom used his age (experience) to his advantage. He tried three forward throws in succession and then used the expectation in his opponent of another forward throw to do something completely different. He made it look easy. Bielby, the other finalist, was easily a foot taller than Tom and it seemed to be a tougher match. Tom won on points and told me afterwards that it wasn't as close as it looked. We'd spent about an hour before the finals talking about family and babies and cute stuff like that and when they announced the fight I was filled with guilt that I'd softened him up rather than bringing out the mongrel the bout probably needed. As it turns out, he can switch on the agression on the mats and it's clear that nobody likes fighting him: he takes a closed, take-no-prisoners stance and always moves forward. He was the senior member of the ACT team there and he told me afterwards that he counsels the younger fighters to be as agressive as he is - even if you lose, your opponent will remember next time he/she fights you that it's likely to hurt. The picture with this report was taken about 30 seconds after the finals and Tom is with Quang Phung, a Vietnamese Australian who has two sons in Tom's club in the ACT. The China Olympics are certainly a possibility for Tom but the key issue will be how much travel is required to get the necessary points. He's 32, which isn't old for a fighter (one of the higher weight fighters retired recently aged 38) but after 15 years on the mats, his priorities are changing (hello Gnome and Sally!) He's a great athlete and it was a treat to see him fight.

Oxford update

I just finished an email to mum and dad so thought I'd post most of it here to practice my usage of the cut n paste, every students essential tool and something I will become quite accustomed to using.
Having been involved with Sar in a torrid negotiation as to which room will be my study, I am happy to say that we recently set up the attic as my study area (I brought the living room and the spare bedroom to the negotiation table but feel that the attic is still one up on the hallway cupboard, the other option proposed by Sar). I have been using it for the last few days reading.... magazines mostly at the moment, hoping to progress to books soon. Have a whiteboard, highlighters, pencils and erasers, it's all very first day of schoolish, but is a great area to be a hermit and there are no distractions at all except for the alcoholic bloke who comes around daily to shout abuse at his mother from the street until she throws money out to him so he can go and buy a 3 litre plastic bottle of Strongbow cider. (I kid you not, I followed him one day). To be fair, when she invariably does he always finishes with "God bless ma, God bless ya". Every cloud....
Sar hosted half a dozen of the lads for lunch yesterday, and based on their usual diet and the amount they enjoyed it I think she might be finding herself as the Italian mother figure to the young blokes. As Sar pointed out after they left they are all young (which I took as meaning virile) and good looking (by which I took as meaning 'do a lot of shagging') therefore I am hoping to fulfil the role of Father confessor to them - "More detail my son".
And the other bit of excitement for me is that I am off to the soccer/football tomorrow. Somehow jagged a ticket to go and see Aston Villa play Arsenal, and can't wait. I was quite bemused a few days ago when, after England beat Greece in their 1st match since the World Cup, the news followed with the headline "Are England on track to win the next World Cup". You just can't buy optimism like that...

So much things to say

Hello family! Once again I find myself apologising for my recent inattention to this esteemed journal; I have been busy enjoying the first four weeks of the university semester. My philosophy is that at university, holidays really only end the day before one's first assignment is due. Unfortunately this date is rapidly approaching, so it's probably time to think about attending some lectures. But that's beside the point - I'm at work now, so I've got plenty of time to update you on the exciting events that have happened in Adelaide recently.

Last weekend Dan Kelly and the Alpha Males were in town and I went along and caught their show. As usual they rocked the hizzy (do cool people still say that? 'hizzy'??), so I'd highly recommend seeing them if they come to a location near you. We kicked on to another pub after the gig and I got to chat with some of the other Alpha Males, which was fun. The new album is also fantastic, and I can identify quite strongly with 'Vice City Rollin', which is a bit of a worry.

Adam: in response your post a while back, of course we'd love to have you and Monica come and visit. You can stay at my place where you will experience the wonders of scotch, spontaneous loud noises and a single mattres + couch, or you are welcome to rock up at mum and dad's where you'll find wine, the ability to get some sleep and a fold out double bed. Your choice. Dad says to give him a call and he'll enlighten you on some 'interesting' walks around Adelaide.

Hmm. Actually, that's about all I can think of to write at the moment. I probably lead a relatively boring existence. My chin hasn't done anything of note recently (at least nothing that anyone had the presence of mind to video) and I've no overseas adventures to report. I'll end by adding my two cents to Grant's post below: if Campese had any sense, he'd realise that Latham and Burke are as crap as each other. May as well recall Wendell and stick him at fullback, I say.

Campo writes for the Roff Report

The current issue of ALPHA magazine in Australia asked David Campese to compare today's Wallbies with the World Cup winners. He says Nick Farr-Jones was better than George ("He doesn't kick well and he runs sideways"); Jason Little was better than Stirling but that Chris Latham was better than Matt Bourke. What about Joe?
"Roff and Tiquiri ahead of Tune. Both Joe and Lote could never be classified as just finishers. They are excellent footballers. They could find themselves in places to create for others. Tuquiri can still improve, too, He's got a higher workrate than Roff ever had and can hammer blokes in the tackle." Hmmm...

Tanzania

I recall dam knowing all the rugby players in the Burundi team when he had fox.Well I saw them play Tanzania as the children of St Judes sang the african anthem at the game.This is a real experience just reinforcing how nice power,hot water and toilets (flushing an extra bonus) can be.This will be short as the power is only on for unknown periods of time.We have been building a roof,storage shed,Library stocktake,bookstand and ends,painting play equipment and really getting to see and experience life in Tanzania.Visited Masai village of staff here and the lives of the children.As the kids were getting to school tired we have 12 buses that do three trips per day to collect and deliver children to the nearest road stop.Some then have one-two hour walk home and work by lamp at night.Mt Kili and Mt Meru were awesome to see as they are very close to Arusha.St Judes website is great to see what is happening for anyone that is interested.Safari was great the camping in the african wild nice except for the pit toilets used by hundreds mean't I went bush but as we camped alonside the animals I didn't go too far.The sunsets/sunrises and simple life appeals to me.I miss my rock and little ones and will have lots of stories for them.I hope this works.
Jan

Tribute...

Hi all!
I seem to be doing a waterfall tour of Northern Michigan, so here's a few pics and the last one is Joe and I paying tribute to Adam and Monica's awesome clip.....



























































Apart from a spectacular amount of hiking (which will pale in comparison to some certain New Zealand pic i look forward to...) I have been enjoying finally having some time to just chill and be lazy - a whole 6 months in the work force really took it out of me - and catching up with some crew i knew when i was at uni here.

Luv Kate

ps. they don't sell fountains sauce here in the states....sounds like a blackmarket opportunity if i ever saw one...

Yuppie attack!

Just off the 'phone with Naomi who is doing well with motherhood and who informed us that Tom would be fighting at Monash Uni his weekend in the Vic State titles. The Lemmings MC will be there in force to ensure victory. Call number two was from Stuart who was pleading poverty as an excuse for not riding down to Victoria to help me trash the Australian Motorcycle GP. He accidently let slip that he'd recently bought a new car!
"Oh, that old thing..." Yeah, sure. Mind you, it will help Marianne navigate the tretcherous conditions between New Lambton and the five-kilometre distant hospital at which she works ("No, really, sometimes they don't sweep the roads properly and there's all manner of loose gravel..") At least Ashley had the dignity to buy something unreliable.
Watch this space for Tom's results (victory is ours!) and for Damian's list of the top three FWDs - none of which will be the Mazda Tribute..

Roff Zombie

Paper Scissor's Music Video

I made this video last week after dinner with my mates (we only took 2 hours ok?). You'll need broadband but watch it again and again (if you can) because I need it to become an internet phenomenon. Just click on the picture and then leave it a few minutes to download (while the screen is black) and then it should play like a normal video. Points for guessing which one is me and which one is Monica...

The band's website (and the real clip for this song) is at http://www.myspace.com/thepaperscissors.

Sunday morning comin' down (again)

Melbourne really is a great place to live. Went to the launch of Dan's new CD on Friday night with Nicholas. Amanda and her mate Mai (the Uleladies) sang backing on one of the songs and it was a great night - around 300 people packed into the Corner Hotel. The CD is "CD of the Week" on JJJ so some of you will get to hear it (maybe not Ash, who's car radio is frozen on "Easy Listening 4KY). Last night Jules and I went to see Jindabyne in which Amanda does a bit of singing in the Paul Kelly soundtrack. Look for here name in the credits. It's a terrific movie and one reason is the focus is on middle-aged people. When I say it's terrific, its also quite distrurbing in lots of ways and should probably be rated for ages 35+. I don't think many younger people will see it as the plot development is slow. Nicholas' Harlequin 2nds got flogged again yesterday as his relectance to engange in any kind of physical contact on the field seems to be infecting the rest of the squad. We're about to take Dom into the tennis centre for ball-boy training, during which we'll have a look at the Picasso exhibition in the Art Centre. The sun is out and the days are getting longer.

Jake still rules

Oçonnor Catholic College just held its athletics carnival today and despite an under 12 from Uralla smashing 3 records, Jake Roff still holds the under 12 triple and high jump records at the College. You rule Jake!

Oh bye the way, we are off to NZ

Thats right, Alaine and i are going to New Zealand on friday, and in true Roff form, i left it up to someone else to plan our trip- that being Alaine. Bad idea? Yes, Very bad. In short, if anyone has any good ideas for the pair of us i.e. accomodation, particularly since we fly in at about 10:30 friday night, bungie jumping (i did hear a good one that is out of a cable car about 120m up and at night- but if there is a better one id like to hear it) that would be taken on board, acknowledged and forgotten in about two minutes. we are going to Queenstown to go snowboarding so yeah i think its an adventure holiday. Im excited.
Apart from that, im ok, works ok, i go fishing a lot now- i caught a shark the other day- that was pretty cool, it was about 5ft long and yes i let it go, i also caught an eel it was pretty long, it bit my dunlop volleys and left a mark in them.

Oysterfest 2006, Ceduna, South Australia

hey Ash, Cath, Rowan and Egg. Monica and I are headed to Adelaide on September the 29th for a wedding (not ours clearly). Any chance of you guy's putting us up for a couple of days? Happy to stay at your place Andrew, if you'll have us, but would love to have dinner (at least) with all of you. Is the airport far from Adelaide? Can we get Jetstar or do they ditch you miles from anywhere like they do in Melbourne? The wedding is on Saturday and then we plan to go camping for a week. My buddy Jim has planned a road trip to Ceduna for some fishing and oysters but it looks a bit desolate on the web sites I found. Can you guys suggest an alternative national park/road trip that would keep us relaxed but occupied for a week?

Alaine the Dealer

Good news for anybody who is not Grant: Alaine has managed to secure an entire case of Fountain's Pepper Steak Sauce, perhaps the finest condiment available on the market today. (And, yes, I am aware that if you have to go to this much effort to find a product you could hardly call it 'available' in the truest sense of the word). She will soon be taking orders and no doubt you'll have to get in early.

 

Daniel. 

 

P.S. Has anybody any information on Dan and his trip to Newcastle for the album launch? Last time we spoke he told me to organise a heap of people and he'll make up a 'list' to be placed at the door.

Christmas gathering

Hi all.It's time to invite everyone to Woodlawn for our biennial get-together.School doesn't actually finish until 21/12-we even have to pretend we have students here til then.Plan is:23/12 Roffs gather plus of course Cathy Noon and Peter Doohan.Extended family welcome from 28/12.Stumps on 2/1.We're working hard to get Neil and Ann Seage this year and we've already had overtures from big Brad on behalf of the Forrests.Bookmakers are not accepting bets on the tennis singles but the doubles is still wide open with the early $ on the Glenn and Peter Doohan combination.......errr sorry Tom.Changes for this time include:more rooms done up,dorms refurbished[with fans that work and more of em],a picnic beside a spring lake near our new place,a nursery and,of course bigger and better trophies from SSR and GOJR.The competion will warrent an even greater commitment to physical fitness.When will the next generation stand up??It will be wonderful to see nearly everyone again.As an aside,Sue asked for my password.Now I know I'm not very bright but after the Joe fiasco......Lets just say any updates will emanate from this source.Lots of love Glenn [and Sue]

An Interesting Life

Roff Report: Blog Edition

I'm meant to be doing other things right now so I thought I'd post a story, and while I'm at it, prove that you don't have to enjoy pepper steak and peri-peri sauce, or go overseas, to lead an interesting life (read: being a vegetarian is fun and I'm very jealous of all you Roffs representing Australia across the world at the moment - but I hope you're having fun and keeping well)

A few weeks ago I carefully reversed into a parked car. It happened to be the only parked car on the quiet street, at 9:30 on a Wednesday night, with a person actually sitting in it. I reluctantly exchanged my details with "Candy" (yes, that was her real name) and during this process I noticed that she had been having "pre-drinks" in her car (aka: skulling a bottle of tequila before a night out...no wonder she was so understanding about the car, "that's okay, it's exciting" were her exact words).

A few weeks later and happily I am still to hear from her regarding the costs of the damage. I presume that she had such a very 'good time' that night that she forgot, lost my details, or at least drove home drunk and woke up in the morning thinking she must have taken a detour through a forest because only that would explain the state of her car.

However I now have a new thoery which I developed while killing time at work yesterday, watching a travel show on TV about the best wintery Melbourne has to offer. This apparantly includes poll-dancercize classes. Wait for it. Taught by tequila-swigging Candy. I now believe that she earns such a wage from her enterprizes that she requires no financial assistance from me.

Reversing into drunken poll-dancers called "Candy" on Wednesday nights is just one small aspect of my intersting life...I can't wait to go overseas!

Comparisons between Lachlan and Truman

Uncle Stuart made the observation that Lachlan is growing up in front of everyone's eyes through the multi-media in Truman style...

I apologise to 'Lachlan fans' who haven't had their fix for a while. It was very remiss of the producers of 'The Lachlan show'.

SEND THAT TROPHY OVER NOW

Adelaide last week........St Kilda tonight.............is there anyone left ????
I thought I'd try to redirect the blogs back to real topics. I tune in and get home decoration descriptions from the pseudo academic in Oxford and some huge description of tomato sauce and the equivalent. I'm sure my Uni motto was ' if it can't be grilled or didn't come with batter it's not on' Whilst that approach possibly had long term effects with me too looking a bit on the Lloyd Walker now it was a winner in the 70's

The family have all clocked in and seem ok. Jan is building roof trusses and library storage shelves in Tanzania and is about to have a 3 day break for a safari, Zac is enjoying his swimming / tennis coaching at the jewish Camp America place whilst keeping quiet about his each way bet on Hezbolah and Kate has made it to Houghton for a catch up with former 'we're just good friends' friend ( see earlier blog) Liz is keeping Dad company here having a go at learning to drive with a combo of Dad and a driving instructor. Of course we are differing over what speed people should drive at- and I've never actually recovered from driving Grant somewhere in Gosford and he said " do you want me to walk on ahead and tell them we're coming !!!!!"- but I'm sure she'll be fine.
I was cheering her up with the how many times did you go for your licence Dad routine....which was twice. I vaguely remember Uncle Ash going 4 times but I'm not sure. Any advance on 4 ???

Rock

We have arrived in Oxford and finally dropped our bags! After about 5 months of imposing on all and sundry (thanks to those that put us up and put up with us throughout that time) it was great to settle in to a place we can call home for a while. As it was the hottest July on record I spent the first few days walking around our unit in my undies burping and scratching myself, doing all those things you don’t feel comfortable doing in someone elses home. It was a real treat for Sar who was forced to admire the rather ample frame I am currently sporting after the travels of the last few months (Lloyd Walker springs to mind). She has put a stop to that now, not sure why.

We are living in a unit just on the outskirts of the city centre, and so have been riding through town regularly and continue to be awed by the city. Points of interest everywhere e.g. I turned up to my first training with the University team only to realise that the ground we play on is where Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute barrier for the mile. The town is currently overrun by loud Americans (take note Kate and Zac) doing their summer school, and it took us all of about 3 days to consider ourselves locals and for us to justify looking down our noses at all these tourists.

For car enthusiasts we have purchased a ‘99 Peugeot 206 which we are happy with. I am pretty sure in the negotiation for the car that one of us was ripped off, but I am not sure whether it was the fast talking tattooed cokney salesman or moi…!? Grant, please reassure me it is a good car.

And that is about all at the moment.

News from America

Hi all,
Zac and I are now in a healthy sibling competition to see who can adopt an obnoxious American accent while travelling here in the states.....
I'm in northern Michigan, in the town where i went to uni on exchange which happens to be in the middle of nowhere. Zac and i might bump into each other at an airport but short of that we are planning to meet up in Argentina in October.
The flight over was (suprise suprise) long and boring, but i scored a spare seat next to me so i could be uncomfortable on two chairs rather than just one, it makes all the difference.
Huge thanks to Grant and Annika for entertaining me in Melbourne at ridiculous hours of the morning- was great to catch up, did the uni mind that you were late uncle Grant?
Sorry to let you down with the whole "marry a rich crayfisherman" uncle Dame, turns out they smell kinda funny.
So I went to a wedding when i was in Detroit, one of Joes highschool mates got married - here's a pic of Joe and I for you all to analyse (yes I am already working on him to lose the beard!)















And in the land where everything is "bigger and better" this was a table at the reception that was FULL of "candy", there was every kind of chocolate bar imaginable, it looked like something from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.....

Talk to you soon,

Luv Kate

Damian releases his 3 greatest condiments

1. Fountain hot chili sauce
2. Tabasco sauce
3. Hot English mustard

Honourable mentions

# Mayonnaise
# Sharwoods hot lime pickles
# Sharwoods Mango chutney


Jenny's top 3

3 3s sweet mustard pickles
Red Ochre bush tomato and chile sauce
Mayonnaise