Pictorial of cousin Sandra (and Ben's) wedding in Fiji - Lachlan was page boy, Kelly bridesmaid

Young Lismore Roffs hit Fiji (well the youngest - Maisie - stayed at home with the Grandparents) for cousin Sandra Aarts' wedding. We stayed 5 nights and found out what 'living on Fiji time' meant. Lachlan will possibly never have a better time in his entire life - Buffet breakfast every morning, pool every day, boat rides, up late dancing with Fiji villagers etc. He loved it, as did his old man (as seen from the last photo - Bottom line, I shredded the dance floor and slept easy that night!)

My motorbike jacket is useless in Kakadu

Hi folks. I managed to fit it all in my back pack so I thought I should give a running commentry of events to fill up some airtime on the blog.

I flew into Darwin with all my motorbike gear, and my camping gear, and my computer stuff. The towel has come in handy but everything else has been dead weight so far.

I hired a Hyundai Getz (supercheap 3 door hatchback) with my mate and we snuck in a quick road trip before the conference begins. Really, really crappy car. The speed limit sign says 130 here but you can pretty much go as fast as you want. The road trains do anyway. 2 dudes in a packed car are no match for these monsters. We spent alot of time at full throttle with our fingers crossed.

NT is a magical place. Some Arnhem Land kids on a school trip taught us where to do back flips in a gorge in Litchfield National Park. Awesome. And we spent some time looking at rock art. I found a painting of a Tasmanian Tiger which have been extinct on the mainland for thousands of years. One of the elders wrote a message to vistors with his fears that they were losing their culture and their people and it would be up to us to remember their stories: that we came from the land and that we will return to the land, that we are custodians not masters, and that the land is part of us.

You can see where modern aboriginal art gets its inspiration from when you see the landscape form any sot of elevation.

Strange, rocky and very old country up here. The soils are crap but everything stays green somehow.
We became a bit fascinated with crocs towards the end of the trip. This warning sign was at East Alligater river which borders Arnhem Land and Kakadu.
Since it didn't say no swimming 'Adam' we got a bit closer. Anyway, the locals didn't seem too freaked out. There were Barra' jumping out of the water everywhere and these salties were going for it. The fishos were competing with the crocs and having fun doing it.

The crocs seemed busy to me so I got a bit closer for some photos for the Roff Report.

They are surprisingly placid up close.

Actually, I take that back. They are killing machines that have been eating everything they get near unchanged for 100 million years. Don't go anywhere near them folks. They can come at you at 70km/h. It's just not safe.

Packing

So I am going away for 2 weeks and I am having a little bit of trouble. I have a series of wildly unconnected events to attend without being able to return home. Everything has to fit into a backpack and I have to be able to do the following.

Arrive in Darwin for for a few days in Kakadu.
Temperature around 35 degrees C. Wet Season.

- DEET mosquito repellent
- Hat
- Thongs
- Shorts
- Towel
- Shirt
- Tent
- Sheets
- Sleeping Mat
- Pillow
- Digital SLR with charger, memory card etc.
-Umbrella
- Crocodile repllent

ok so far.

Present at a Remote Sensing Conference

- Light Wool Suit
- Dress Shoes
- Laptop
- 500Gb Hard Drive
- Mouse
- Keyboard
- Software dongle
- Smart phone
- Note to self: write the paper I am presenting at some point

Starting to look difficult.

Fly directly to Melbourne for the Melbourne Motorcycle Grand Prix.
Temperature around 10 degrees C. It is still winter there for some reason.

- Leather Jacket
- Riding Boots
- Motorcycle gloves
- Motorcycle helmet
- Tent
- Bedroll
- Clean sheets!
- Lots of beer
- Iron stomach
- Hardy constitution

The next day,

- Present my PhD research for the board of my funding body
- Do my research for my PhD, not necessarily in that order

Go to Ngambie in the VIC wine country.

- Warm clothes
- Snake repllent
- All my brothers and sisters in the same place!
- Lots of wine

Baggage limit. 20kg. Must be able to carry independently with an option to hitchhike.

Film Review - WALL E

I took the kids to see WALL E on Sunday. It was pretty good. I liked it. 9/10.

Australia Decides 2008

For the October long weekend I'm thinking about going on a short holiday. I've narrowed the decision down to two (2) choices and I need your help, "Roff Report". The options are Brisbane or Adelaide. You have until Tuesday afternoon to vote.

(I'll be in Melbourne over the New Year period, Armidale (hopefully) towards Christmas and Perth is, like, all the way over in Western Australia, so it wasn't even considered.)

Bear in mind in your decision making that by the time the long weekend comes around I will have, on that very Friday, finished my annual 'giving up alcohol for one month' routine.

On a slightly different note, I have a brief story for Damian.

I occasionally assist Legal Aid with what's called 'the list' at some of the Local Courts in Sydney and it just means you give legal advice to anyone who asks, represent people at short notice if they fit within the means test or make bail applications on behalf of people that have been recently arrested. On this particular day I was doing the bail applications.

Our hero in this story had been arrested after a fight with his de facto partner. According to the police, it began over the music he was playing on his record player and escalated from there. After taking instructions, making the appearance and, in spite of me, his getting bail, I went back down to the cells to explain his bail conditions.

Finally, temptation got the better of me.
"What were you playing that made your missus so angry?"
"Ted Nugent's Double Live Gonzo Album."
"Nice."

Daniel.

Alternate dimension

The Large Hadron Collider is having an effect: it's started to offer us glimpses into bizzare alternate realities. Below is just one chilling example - in this universe, very different from our own, Ashley Roff is a respected, upstanding pillar of the legal community...





Spooky.

My gaff

Hey everyone, Adam gave me a digital camera for my birthday! Best brother ever (not counting Nick and Dom). So get ready for visual excitement in my future posts. In the meantime, how about some boring scenes from my day to day life. Above mansion is my home at 46 O'Grady st North Carlton. I share it with my two beautiful wives Courtney Collins (scholar, novelist and mystic. Good cook. Steals my clothes) and Lilith Lane (renowned Melbourne musician and tap dancer, played keyboards in the Countdown revival tour, which lead to me sitting around the pool at the Radison Motel in Newcastle, drinking beers with Jon English, Leo Sayer and Brian Mannix. What a night.)
My washing. Note in the middle, my new t-shirt, merchandise of the band "Cut Sick" a brilliant 90's revival punk band from Melbourne. In the undies department (foreground) I favour BONDS boy leg, size 14. Although my arse is technically a size 12, I despise visable panty line (VPL) and unsightly bulges (muffin top) and find that buying a size up reduces the possibility of these crimes against nature and increases comfort! I expect the comments section will be writhing with debate on this subject.
The washing up. We have a house inspection on Monday so I will definitely have to throw a towel over this lot.
The contents of my fridge. Staple diet includes porridge with yoghurt and honey and fruit. Mung beans, miso, tofu, alfalfa, brown rice, lentils, red kidney beans...hippie food. We never eat meat at home which explains why you see me crying with joy over the barbeque at christmas. Note jumbo container of olives on top shelf. I got 2 of these for 12 bux at Brunswick safeway. Total bargain. Also note on top of the tub of honey, top shelf- a jar of Meredith goats cheese- the best goats cheese in the world.You must try it.

The barbeque...need to build the bricks into a sort of circle thing and put that black round thing on them. Its a weber.

Say tuned for more fascinating crap about me. xxxx

Plugging the Black Hole

Very quiet on the Roff Report. Perhaps portalled to another dimension?
A couple of items that may fill the gap.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktiZo1ZwA3Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS02hI7NEvM
The last video I posted I recall was judged as close to a waste of time and space. This may fall into the same category so WARNING: only for those with time to spare and waste.
Brendan

Bond, James Bond

New Pad

Monica and I have moved to a leafy new pad in Bronte. We have lorikeets tapping on the window to wake us up in the morning instead of Irish back packers. And we can still walk to the beach! Yay!

We welcome guests and have a spare bed if you are passing through town. We are at 5/19A Brown Street, Bronte, NSW, 2024. If you are in the hood, drop past.

BIRTHDAY GIRL

Happy Birthday SUE! 1950 must have been a great year. Let's hope Glenn looks after you and spoils you today!

Ukeladies dates

AUGIE MARCH WATCH ME DISAPPEAR AUSTRALIAN TOUR

With special guests Dan Kelly with The Ukeladies
Tix on Sale September 11th

Thursday 30th October - Metro Theatre Sydney NSW
624 George Street, SYDNEY
Tickets $33 +bf pre-sales / $38 door
from Metro Theatre on (02) 9550 3666 www.metrotheatre.com.au &
Ticketek on 132849 www.ticketek.com.au Doors open 8pm

Monday 3rd November - Regal Theatre Perth WA
www.regaltheatre.com.au
474 Hay Street, SUBIACO
Tickets $45 +bf pre-sales / $50 door from Ticketek on 132 849
www.ticketek.com.au & all Ticketek agencies Doors open 8pm

Saturday 8th November - The Uni Bar Hobart TAS
Churchill Avenue, SANDY BAY
Tickets $33 +bf pre-sales / $38 door from www.oztix.com.au
augiemarch.oztix.com.au & these outlets:
Ruffcut Records: 33A Elizabeth St Mall, Hobart (03) 6234 8600
Mojo Music: 81 Brisbane Street, Launceston (03) 6334 5677
& thru the venue at University of Tasmania Union (03) 6226 2495
Doors open 8pm

Thursday 13th November - Governor Hindmarsh Adelaide SA
www.thegov.com.au
59 Port Road, HINDMARSH
Tickets $33 +bf pre-sales / $38 door from www.venuetix.com.au,
www.moshtix.com.au & at the venue (08) 8340 0744
Doors open 8pm

Saturday 15th November - Ormond Hall Melbourne VIC
www.ormondhall.com.au 557 St Kilda Road, MELBOURNE
Tickets $33 +bf pre-sales / $38 door from the venue on (03) 9529 3111,
www.oztix.com.au augiemarch.oztix.com.au & these outlets:
Polyester Records, City: 288 Flinders Lane, Melbourne (03) 9663 8696
Polyester Records, Fitzroy: 387 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy (03) 9419 5137
Missing Link: 405 Bourke Street, Melbourne (03) 9670 8208
Greville Records: 152 Greville Street, Prahran (03) 9510 3012
Doors open 8pm

Friday 28th November - The Tivoli Brisbane QLD
www.thetivoli.net.au
52 Costin Street, FORTITUDE VALLEY
Tickets $33 +bf pre-sales / $40 door from Ticketek on 132 849
www.ticketek.com.au
Doors open 7.30pm

Holidays

I have decided to go to Lightning Ridge in the holidays. I have tried to have a picture with my blogs just like Andrew. I hope it works.