Floods at Woodlawn

Chuck Norris eat your heart out

My son's so tough he took on swine flu..... and the pig died.

Clone wars

Despite years of pretending otherwise, Stuart and Marianne actually like Milly. They're down in Melbourne this weekend to visit her and we had the pleasure of entertaining them last night (Friday). I collected them from the airport and, despite Stuart wearing a nearly identical outfit to mine, they walked off the plane unnoticed. It's possible Stuart saw me and thought I was a mirror. Milly joined us last night and she and Marianne got up early this morning as Milly was working and she'd booked Marianne in for a teeth clean and service. Stu and I are just back from watching Dom playing. We arrived to see Dom perform a Greegan-like last-ditch tackle right on the Box Hill line. Stuart said afterward it could have been a match-saver except for the 14 tries the opposition scored after that. It's ladies day tomorrow so Stuart and I will either go for a bike ride or go to the Collingwood vs Carlton game at the MCG. They fly home on Monday.


In other news, we had a card from Glenn yesterday. He's currently doing his stint in Oxford and lists activities including ghost tours, royal tennis, concerts, and plays (he liked Noel Coward's "Private Lives"). He says he's getting so confident in seminars that one day last week he nearly asked a question. He delivers his seminar on May 18 - only two more sleeps before some of the finest minds in the world focus their attention on his work. How relaxed would that make you feel?
Annika is on bridesmaid duties this weekend in Moe (Gippsland area). Pictures to follow...

Power Lunch

I ran into Daniel on a lunchbreak in the city this week. I often need free legal advice so I made him buy me lunch. We had Beef Rendang from an authentic Indonesian joint near Chinatown. Not bad. My shout next week Daniel.

He is fighting the good fight in the Family Court wearing a dashing Navy Pin-Stripe. If you are attending the Family Court it means things have gotten real bad at home and Daniel appeares to be representing his clients with vigour and compassion (hardly ever yelling at them). It's great work champ.

My work is going ok. I promised to magically map a tenth of NSW in 2 months using satellite imagery. Turns out it isn't all that easy. If it works (and it might) I'll have made a name for myself and I'll get to name my price to map the rest of the state. Fingers crossed.

I presented some of my research at the NSW National Parks and Wildlife Office head office a month ago and they basically wrote down what I had said, replicated my work, and released a report with their name on it, their letterhead, the date and no reference to my work. It was a bit of a wake-up call for a green early career scientist.

[Adam was dressed in wool trousers by Pierre Cardin and a 2-ply Egyptian cotton shirt (taylored cut) and italian shoes (thanks salvos).]

Harry's first Day of School

Harry has just completed his first week of high school and he went there nervous but happy on his first day. Now he hates it- he does not understand why people would actually study this sort of thing at university and then make a living out of it.

Having never actually studied anything like this Harry breezed on into this position of science teacher and by the sounds of it upset a few siblings back in Australia.

best wishes
Vicky

My mothers day present for Sue (snake in the grass)

Sue took the kids to the park this morning, and rang us (as we were about to go on a run) to say that she had spotted the largest snake she had ever seen sunning itself on the ovals. The caretaker and Brother Kev both had a look and confirmed as much, so Kelly and I thought that we would go and take care of the problem for Sue, who isn't a massive fan of our cold blooded neighbours.

Of course, in the end it was large piece of tree bark, but at least Sue now feels safe.

Happy Mothers Day Sue!!

Happy birthday Norma

Julia's mum, Norma, celebrated her 80th today. We had a party at Julia's brother, Robert's house. Norma and Julia's dad, Ron, used to own it so the whole family still has a connection with it. Norma now lives in a dementia unit in Ferntree Gully and, while she sometimes has trouble with recent events, has a terrific memory of her childhood in Footscray (go Dogs). Some of the guests at the party were her old friends from her childhood, including members of her netball team. Ron's older brother, Arthur, attended and was, I think, the oldest participant: 92. All Norma's kids were there: Robert (retired air traffic controller), Adrian (wine maker from Beachworth - my favourite) Julia (oops - she's my favourite - Adrian is second) and Venita, who runs an antique and memorabilia shop in the Dandenongs. Two of Norma's sisters, Hellen and Janet, were there as well so it was a great family event. Dom and Annika made it, Dom fitting it in between rugby this morning (beaten, but Dom scored from fullback in a length-of-the-field run and is clearly getting his old skills back) and going to work this afternoon supervising kids parties at a recreation centre. Nick refereed this morning and is, as I write this, playing for Harlequins on the field I saw Joe play on when he was down here playing an under-16 tournament. Everyone they play against seem to be twice their size.
Just had a call from Damian and Jenny on their way back through Melbourne on the way home from thier holiday. I've pushed them hard to have just one more night here so fingers crossed.
You'll recognise most of people in the picture above (Norma on the right of Julia). The woman on the right is an old friend of Norma's named Valda. She likes a chat...

Official Puffing Billy race results

Cal crossed the line in 1.02.21, beating the first train by four minutes and 25 seconds. According to our observers at the finish line, he would have been among only three runners his age to achieve this. It's an outstanding result. Overall, he finished in position 792 of 2696 official runners.
Damian, on the other hand, managed a time of 1.21.16. Among the males racing, it placed him 1716 out of 1882, making him more than 90 per cent slower than most Victorians. He claims he was doing fine until "that big, brown hill". He was actually beaten by the second train (1.20.18).
For the record, the male winner was Matthew Jonson in a time of 42.44 and the female winner was Hanny Allsten in 47.09. The distance was 13 kilometres. See you all next year...

Melbs Mish

Monica and I just booked tickets to Melbourne for Thursday the 28th of May arriving at 10.40pm on Virgin flight DJ894. If anyone goes away on that weekend I will burn your house down, or at the very least poop in your letterbox. That's fair warning. We fly back Sunday night. Can't wait.

Long service adventures

Luke, Amy and Lilly were able to sit on the window of the carriage with their feet dangling over the side!
Yes, I know, there are shadows on their faces, but this is Damian, Jenny and Luke posing in front of the train Cal beat and the bloke beside Damian was the driver.

Amy helped drive the train...

The Damian Roffs have been in town since last Tuesday as part of their long service leave adventure to the southern climes. Much shopping has been done, we've checked out the delights of Chinese cooking in Box Hill (Damian particularly liked the Hot Pot King) and all the boys (plus Amy) are currently in at the MCG watching, I hope, the Dogs do St Kilda.
The highlight of the trip has been this mornings race against Puffing Billy. The driver of the train has to run from the start line back to the engine (while all the passengers give him a cheer) and then try to get to Emerald Park Lake before the runners. The distance is about 13 kilometres which is hard for both the train and the runners. Representing the Roffs were Cal, Jenny and Damian. Cal was the star with a finishing time of about 60 minutes which beat the train by six minutes - an exceptional effort. Damian and Jenny made it across the line in about 80 minutes so no treats for them, although they could have recorded better times if they hadn't waited at the rail bridges to wave at Amy, Luke and Lilly who were in the train. It's been an excellent visit with many happy meals and lots of fun. They leave soon to travel along the Great Ocean Road for some camping so we can expect a blog from them when that adventure unfolds.

Maisie and Lachlan on Youtube telling jokes

Aunty Betty Forrest

Stuart and I arrived back from Fiji and took a detour to see Aunty Betty who is currently residing with Shane and Jane. She has been diagnosed with leukaemia - a not very nice kind - and has been commenced on chemotherapy. She looked very tired and pale today and was cursing what growing old does to you. She still looks fantastic though and was her normal elegant self. Shane said the doctors are not quite sure at this stage how things are going and what outcomes to expect. She could do well and still be okay in 3 years time and given that she has always been so fit and well, we can only pray that this is the case. The doctors also suggested if she had not started the chemotherapy last week, she would not have survived another 3 to 4 weeks. Her form of leukaemia is apparently very aggressive. The Forrests are making up a roster so there is always someone with Aunty Betty and they are very organised. Everyone will have her in their thoughts. Marianne

Black's Anniversary

The 20th April is a famous time in the Roff family as the birthdays of Neil ( the original one)and his sister Betty. Sadly the 21st this year marks 5 years since Black went to the great racetrack and card table in the sky. Maybe you could spare a thought for the old guy , and maybe even jot down as a blog your favourite memory of him.

Shane shines down south

Shane Forrest has been in town (Melbourne) this last week with an exhibition in the Art Melbourne 2009 event run at the famous Royal Exhibition Building. The exhibition gives visitors a chance to "taste" the content of galleries all around Australia. Shane's exhibition was in a space named "The Studio" and reserved for artists in the "early stages of their career". Family visitors to the exhibition included all the Melbourne-based Bisley/Forrests, Lara and Milly.
Shane had about thirty pieces up and his space attracted a lot of interest along with offers to exhibit overseas - including an offer from China.
He works in a number of mediums but has developed a really interesting take on poster work. It probably doesn't happen in Geraldton but in larger cities, bands and arts events put posters up in places where they won't be torn down quickly by local councils. These posters are put up over each other and the layers can sometimes be twenty deep. Shane peels the complete pile off, uses a form of archival adhesive to preserve the back and then cuts into the surface so you get information ranging from the first to the last poster. What immediately struck me was the temporary nature of popular culture promotion (a poster can be visible for as little as 20 minutes before the next poster obscures it) but Shane says he likes making permanent something which was originally intended to be transitory.
He does a lot of collage work and I also saw a set of drawings of graphic sexual poses in the style of Kama Sutra illustrations with oriental faces but located in inner-city squat housing - in one there was a couple in deep congress in the corner of a room where the only other thing visible was a cheap, two bar electric heater. I'm thinking of buying it for you for Christmas, John.
Shane and Jane caught up with everyone they could in their week here and I've asked him to forward his future exhibitions schedule and details of Jane's web sites which I'll put up when I get them. Shane says Rory is improving noticably and is getting back to some physical work and Bad Zac is still on the scene. I've started a new savings account so I can have something of Shanes on my wall in the near future. It really is very good.
PS. Speaking of Bisleys, happy birthday for today, Indi.

Dr. Roff's missus birthday

Haven't been on the blog for a while. A bit flat out. I missed wishing moni a happy birthday but her buddies looked after her with some cake. I'm still pretty knacked after not sleeping for a couple of weeks to finish my thesis but I'm glad to have it out of the way. Still having nightmares about the markers and being in exams with no pens and no clothes but I am assured it goes away.

You'll love Fiji Uncle Stuart and Marianne. I've been there a couple of times in the last few years. Just be careful what you take photos of because they are a bit twitchy at road blocks. Make sure you register with http://www.smartraveller.gov.au/ so the consulate knows where you will be.

Holidays in hell

As you read this, Stuart and Marianne are packing for their well-earned break in peaceful, sunny Fiji. Why go to Fiji? Well, Thailand is fully booked by riot police, transfers from the airport in Bagdad are still a little unreliable and all the hotels in the Gaza Strip were bombed last month. Fiji specialises in bloodless coups so things SHOULD be okay.
We entertained Alaine and Milly last night and heard a very entertaining story from Alaine about travelling with Daniel. I can't remember all the details but, on the night in question, Alaine ended up sleeping wrapped up in a curtain and Daniel is apparently now a big fan of Contiki tours. I fear Milly is absorbing too much of Melbourne too quickly and needs to slow down or risk exploding. Lots of fun.
The big news with the Grant Roffs is that Adam has handed his thesis in. It's a major achievement and, despite his misgivings, will soon be Dr Roff. After submitting, the procedure is that the thesis will be marked and he'll either get "accepted with corrections" (meaning he's still Dr Roff but has to fix a few things up) or just "accepted without corrections". The big problem the uni has is finding anyone who knows more about the subject than Adam to read it. My money is "accepted without corrections" and, perhaps, a university medal. He richly deserves a round of applause.

Tipping News

Uncle Damian has finally out tipped Nick the Tipper and has hit the Lead. Dom is last! Toody is roaring up the table. Cal and Amy were the weekly winners. Go Dipper, go Hawks!

Not so cute shots of Armidale kids to chill the soul

Some cute shots of Lismore kids to warm the soul

Party girls

Here's a scene from Annika's wild 23rd birthday party. Annika received a new bike for (her last one was stolen) to help her get from her digs in Brunswick to Melbourne Uni. We dropped it off today and while we were having lunch Annika got a call from Paris telling us that the previous night, the Forrests and Milly had gone to Indi's girlfriend's 21st in a flash penthouse suite in one of Melbourne's grand hotels. While they were attempting to leave, Milly fell down the escelators. She's really taking Melbourne by storm!
Julia and I attended the gala opening of the comedy festival last Wednesday and it was long but very funny. Most of the commedians are doing national tours so if you get the chance to see Rich Hall, Arj Barker or Danny Boye, take it. Most of them had jokes about outback Australian towns ("The thing I liked most about Esperance is that if you put a dollar in the parking meter, you get two days!"). Amanda joined us for lunch today and is celebrating two whole weeks off the sauce. I told her it would help her concentrate with her uni work and Julia asked me how I'd know. I suspect she's working on her own stand-up routine for next Roff Christmas. Nick continues to work, eat and save. His team (Harlequin seconds) won yesterday by two points. Dom is playing union for Box Hill this season instead of soccer. He survived his first practice match but there's a big gap physically between him (just 16) and many of the opposition (17 years and 11 months). In the best family tradition, he played on the wing and, for a short time, at fullback. Drop-kicked a goal, too.
Those members of the family eligible for the Rudd government handout (not me, unfortunately, due to minor discrepencies in the regular lodging of tax returns) are watching the letterbox this week. Julia will be using her money to part-fund another trip to Vietnam in the middle of the year. I plan to join her for two of the four weeks. We have lots of adventures planned before that, of course, including the Puffing Billy race with Damian and co, and Stuart and Marianne visiting a few weeks after that.
I had a couple of days in Sydney at the Ulysses Club AGM last weekend, arriving at Sydney airport to fly home 15 minutes after the great brawl. It was the wrong time to be carrying a helmet...

Pandamoneium breaks out at taipei zoo!

This was in todays Newspaper. Sorry for the poor quality of the scan. You may have to click on it to enlarge.

So here is an interesting fact.

Kiss Me and Ask me in mandarin sound and are spelled almost the same. Only a slight variation in the tone separates the two. So earlier today, while Vicky and I are walking two dogs from the nearby vet (that is another story) a little girl walks up to us to pat these dogs.

The little girl talking to vicky, pointing at me "does he speak chinese?"

My reply before Vicky can answer "kiss me, kiss me"

The little girl, running away from us "daddy, daddy"

Vicky "run"

Tomorrow we will find a new park.

On a different note, R-diddy HasselRoff, i am flattered you think of me like that, but even if i was in RADelaide, there is no way i am attending a party in your bed (thats right ladies)

Nick the Tipper

Nick leads the tipping comp.....just. Dan is last. Its still not too late to enter, I think you get all the home games for the rounds you missed out on. Go Libber, Go Dogs!

MARIANNE IS 'ARMLESS!!

Marianne is in hospital at the moment recovering from an operation to repair her damaged (right) wrist. She fractured her wrist in a fall in the shower. Marianne can't just take a shower, oh no, that would be too simple. She has to CLEAN the shower at the same time and slipped up. She now has a steel plate in her wrist so it could be interesting going through airports.

Six degrees of separation....The guy who put a temporary caste on Marianne saw the name and turns out he knows Jake and Joe from school. He was telling us the story of a New Years Eve party at Manly which involved, among other things, hitting golf balls off the top of the apartment building (a la Kramer). It also turned out that Joe and another party goer got accidentally locked out of the apartment building, decided to climb up balconies to get in and on the way up found one that had left a balcony door open. When the occupant arrived home she found a note from her intruders that read "Nice apartment. Thanks for the hospitality. Tony and Joe." The next morning the police knocked on the door of Joe's apartment..............

Lachlan's lessons in sports focus (& maisie)

A new Cal?

AFL Tipping Competition

1st round starts this week. Go to www.footytips.com.au/jc.cfm?c=140925&P=roff for a direct link to join all the footy tipping fun. Come on!

Happy birthday Julia

Julia turns fifty-something tomorrow and will celebrate with either dinner out with some mates (including me, of course) or a dinner at home with the family. Amanda has already give her tickets to a Paul Kelly concert but, of course, she's expecting more. Jan is here at the moment which is a great treat. After the Lismore Christmas, it's hard to recognise Jan when she's actually standing up but she looks great and we're about to go test some of the great Asian food in Box Hill.

What does Sheedy know?

No sooner have I joined Damian's tipping competition than Kevin Sheedy has a go at me from a rival tipping competition.
http://sledgeyourmates.news.com.au/heraldsun?article=15555
If you haven't registered yet, do it - first AFL game is on Thursday this week.

Happy Birthday Rowan

Puffing Billy Here We Come

Calling all Roffies who want to race against Puffing Billy on Sunday 3rd May. Entries are now open, so best get in early and score a place if you are keen. Ash, have you officially registered and paid?
The website to use is www.puffingbilly.com.au
We are all getting very excited about our 5 week road trip, departing just after Easter. I hope we all come back still friends and that no one kills Lily along the way. Although, if the Newcastle Roffs did it and came back alive (and still say it was one of their best ever holidays) then we can too!!!

Love to all, especially Joe and Sarah. Hang in there guys ... it won't be that bad for too long.
Hope to see you along the way on the Roff Roadtrip. Run for the hills ... you may get a visit from the Armidale Roffs.
Love Jenny

Eli

.... just before he woke up hungry and screaming, waking the other one in the process, who then decides he wants to play with his Thomas trains, screams when he is not allowed, which wakes up the younger one...

It is an abyss, I see no light, and I am going to bed.

AFL Tipping Competition

I have set up an AFL tipping comp for all Roffs.

This will be tremendous fun! Simply log on to footytips.com.au. You need to register which is easy. Then you need to "find a comp". The comp is roff afl and the password is roff. Lastly enter tips for round 1. I suggest those living in Radelaide and WA tip with their heads and not their hearts to maximise results.

Could cousins get their hopeless parents involved.

It is all FREE! but I suggest that if you enter you undertake to send the winner a CD at the end of the comp.

Melbourne moments

It's raining at last and the tank is full. Julia, Bonnie and I had a weekend camping on the property Amanda rents at Nagambie which included a canoe down the river to Chateau Tabilk for some excellent tastings. The restaurant looked good, too, but they don't do dogs. Might be something else to consider when you're down here for Puffing Billy, Damian and Jenny.
Amanda was at the festival below on the weekend, as was Annika as a customer. It was good that it stayed dry. Both girls were out here today to catch up with our old mate, Brian Gibbons, who is down from Stanhope for a quick visit. Lance Gibbens, the bloke Stuart mistook for Brian and ruined his chances of getting a teaching job in New Zealand, will be here tomorrow afternoon to pick up a bike so they'll finally meet. The story will be told again. Nick is working and saving. He's back at rugby training so his short visit to the hospital hasn't slowed him down much. Dom is playing rugby this year instead of soccer but he's just 16 and will be in the under 18s where he will, no doubt, be introduced to many of the 30 year-old Pacific Islanders in opposition teams who claim they meet the age limit. I'm keeping our private health insurance this year.
Adam rang today as a short distraction from possibly his last two weeks of thesis writing. He's delerious, as you can see from the hand-holding furry critters below, but is enjoying his new job.
The students are back and I'm about to start week three of semester one. I've already told them everything I know - it could be a long 12 weeks...

The curse of the Roff name

So the Australian Legal Business magazine did their annual who's who of intellectual property lawyers. They ring up a bunch of businesses, and ask them, over the phone, about the lawyers they've been using:



Dammit! I'm sure all Roffs who have ever tried to order a pizza will feel my pain.

Don't even ask

USO show at Meredith Music Festival

Blues Fest '09

Kelly and I are going to the Blues Fest on Saturday 11th April - Ben Harper headlining. Is anyone coming this way?