Silly newspaper clippings

This is pretty much SPAM. Sorry. Not much happening. Dad and Julia and Dom are due back in Melbourne on Thursday. Nick and I are flying into melbourne as well for a bit of a get together before Annika heads overseas for her big adventure. Where did she learn how to save money?

AND ALL COUSINS SHOULD JOIN FACEBOOK NOW AND LOOK ME UP. We can form a group and play scarbble, and ..... stuff. We can waste time together. It will be fun!

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Jake has a new camera - watch out.

I just bought an SLR camera, so look out Roff Report. Poor Lachlan has had so many flashes go off in his face, he may need a guide dog soon.

George must be retiring soon, so we have been practising getting low to pick the ball up from the scrum base.

We have been laying pretty low in Lismore of late. Damian and family visited the other day. They brought a trophy (the Maisie trophy) which would be the prize for doubles matches between Lismore Roffs and Armidale Roffs. You must be pretty confident to bring a trophy to a tennis match - Their confidence was rewarded with a 6-0 win, No-one told us that 11 year olds were allowed to hit that hard! (Admittedly, I was playing with a grandfather!)

The legend of the lucky scarf!

Yes, the lucky scarf* has come through again, assuring victory for the Wallabies in last week's game against the All-Blacks in Melbourne. Here it is being modelled by my paduan, Darth Maul. The proud record of the lucky scarf: it has never seen the Wallabies lose a live match!!!

* For those who came in late: the lucky scarf was forged form in the deep caverns of a novocastrian helmhome known to the local orcs as "cathie'smum'splaceinparkwayavenue". The scarf was delivered in secret to me in Adelaide as the weapon for an Australian win in the 1993 World Cup Rugby. These were dark times as noble knights such as Sir Joe Roff were displaced from the crusade by weasils and drug addicts but the lucky scarf remained a beacon for the Wallabies until the final hours before the coup-de-grace from Sir Jonathon Wilkinson of England.

The lucky scarf was first unfurled in the Australia -v- Numibia world cup game in 1993. The Wallabies won by more than 100 points and the lion tamers of the veld were tamed by a mysterious force that night in Adelaide.

Then on to Australia-v- Ireland in Melbourne. Australia led by one point with ten minutes to go. Ireland threw the might of the green army against the Wallaby line and many Australian players stood tall to the task, including Sir Joe Roff who refused, alone, to yield at the last line of defence to the bald giant Sir Keith Wood, barely 5 metres from the Wallaby line. There was a strange force that protected the Wallaby line that rainy night in sodden Melbourne town!

But the storm clouds of a black fate for the Wallabies were gathering in olde Sydney town for a showdown with the all-conquering head-hunters from New Zealand. Weakened in their ranks by the undermining politics of a group known as "leaguies" the Wallabies were facing their sternest test and an unlikely victory until the lucky scarf intervened at Telstra Stadium. Against all odds the Wallabies triumphed.

Only the will of St George stood between the Wallabies and ultimate victory. Unfortunately, by a series of ill-adventures (see Episode #531) the lucky scarf was not delivered to the final contest and, sadly, the Wallabies lost by 3 points, riddled by corruption and indecision.

In an effort to re-build the Wallaby pride, a contest with the cannibal tribes of the Pacific Island nations was organised in Adelaide the next year. Many brave Wallabies such as young Clive Rathbone lost their heads in a fearsome battle. While the lucky scarf was able to ensure victory for the Wallabies, tragedy struck the greatest of their ranks, Sir Joe. Falling to a a trap laid by the evil Fijian groundsman Les ("Tui 'Fa 'Fa") Burdett, Joe was carried from the ground swearing loudly that he would become a better family man.

In its latest outing, the lucky scarf endured scorn and pity in Melbourne last week by the Maori cannibals in the pre-game rituals, only to later bless another miraculous win by the the Wallabies. After the contest many Maories came to understand the source of their torment (perhaps by the loose-lipped ravings of the scarf-bearer who was weighed down with the responsibilty of such a treasure) and they sought to steal the lucky scarf back to the land of the long white cloud. Fortunately it was held safe, possibly Australia's most important and valuable asset in the quest for world domination.

Frodo Baggins

Our Spanish Correspondent

hello dear family, sorry about the lack of contact, too busy getting lost trying to find and internet caf that

a) works
b) is relatively free of local morrocan gangsters
c) does not smell really bad.

I am now in veher de la frontera, its my birthday today and i couldnt hope for a better one. The house is amazing, everyone is super relaxed and having a ball. we eat feasts on our roof top every night, all enjoying shopping in the markets and cooking for 12 in the huge kitchen. the local produce is very high qual, and very cheap, as is the booze.

our jacuzi has a brilliant view, we have a giant lounge with audio visual set up, 10 min drive to the beach through fields of donkeys and sunflower plantations. We have been hanging out with a french muso friend who has booked me and may and dan luscombe a gig at a bar tonight called the priests bar. we have been drinking there exclusively coz they play bob dylan and lou reed, and they love us! as do all the restaurants we eat at. well i think they love us, they usually give us a complimentary round of the local home made sherry and the kitchen mamma always comes out and waves us goodbye, maybe they are just grateful to see us go.I am planning to write a more comprehensive updat for the roff report asap.

Amanda

Vietnam in pictures

That's enough blog space about babies - more important things are going on in other parts of the world! Here's a few of the thousand digi-pics we've taken in our quest to leave no tourist cliche untouched in our conquest of Asia...
Teaching mountain kids the "finger trick". They love it...

We had our own H'mong ethnic minority guide for our trecks near the Chinese border: her name was "Dom" which was easy to remember. Short, isn't she?

Jules on the balcony of our hotel in the mountains. China is over the other side of that mountain range.

As I said, no cliche left alone in our quest.

Floating markets in the Mekong Delta area. We bought, and ate, half a ton of exotic oriental fruit.

I wanted to be the snake handler but Dom insisted! Later this day he disgraced Australia by going down 12-5 in a table-top soccor match against a Dane. He managed a one-all draw against Vietnam, though. We're having a terrific time and will be heading for the coast the day after tomorrow for a few days in the surf.

Introducing Maisie Anne Roff

After years of Lachlan Osborne hogging Blogg time, we thought it prudent to allow Xavier sufficient time before introducing Maisie to everyone.So far she is doing all the right things, and is getting cuter each day. Kelly and I lived such unfulfilling lives before we had children. I only hope my cousins have an ounce of our happiness one day.
Further Maisie Anne photo's to come. Love Jake, Kel and Lachlan.

Pics from 'Nam

Just a couple of pictures of Halong Bay which Dom has shown me how to upload (not that I could do it again by myself if I had to). Dom arrived safely and has spent the first day learning how to not buy things on the street from peddlers and visiting the Saigon Zoo and various markets. He'll report when we get back from the gun palace tomorrow...

Not a bad view from the boat's bedroom window

Ten "guests" on this boat with almost as many staff. Jules and I jumped off the top into the water - a local challenge. Accommodation was a largish room with an en-suite. Two nights accommodation (one on the boat and another in a hotel on one of the islands) and three days of meals, transfers and transport to and from Hanoi cost $70 per person. Don't know how they do it...

Me in my Emerald Secondary College shirt which was too big for Nicholas to wear with Julia in Halong Bay.

You think that's hot?

When Kate was in Adelaide we discussed Phanny's propensity to bolt after being taken for a walk by strangers (AKA uncle Damian). Kate shared some wisdom about her experience with Llamas and other South American inhabitants and based on her recommendations we decided that 4 minutes in the microwave might do her (Phanny, not Kate) some good!

I am pleased to report that despite an immediate loss of weight and colour, Phanny is still defending the eastern dark, albeit in form rather than substance.

Thank you Kate for dropping in to Adelaide, it was great to catch up with you and hear about your world travels. We are in awe about our nieces and nephews exploring the world on their own and we always look forward to swapping tales with our globe trotting family.

I am about to go over to Melbourne for the Bledisloe Cup and thanks to G&J for the accomodation. I know that this will look lame in retrospect, but c'mon the Wallabies!!!!

Ash

Geeze it's hot here..

Still struggling with photos but Dom is due here in an hour so that should help. Thanks to Annika and Adam for facilitating his departure - he's lucky to have such attentive siblings. Jules and I are well and have finished our two weeks in the northern area of the country. We've had a great time, as you do with a pocketful of money, a map and an ability to ignore responsibilities farther afield. The two big tourist traps in the north are Halong Bay and the Sapa mountain region from which we've just returned. It's on the border with China and the trecking is not too demanding but very scenic. We did a two-day hike with a sleep-over in a hilltop tribal village - very authentic. Vietnam has only really allowed tourism since the mid-'90s and it's still very fresh. It will probably be like Bali in ten years or so but it's a beautiful country and I'm pleased I've finally had the chance to come here without carrying a machine gun. The young people here don't have much sense of the war so there's no obvious resentment, although there are hardly any American tourists. Understandable, I suppose. When Dom arrives we have a trip planned by boat into the Mekong Delta region and then a few days at the beach. What he's looking forward to is a visit to the underground caves the Vietcong used to get close to Saigon during the war. There's a rifle range on site with all the weapons used in the war and you can buy bullets, grenades, rockets etc from a market stall and fire them from the weapons. Dom has never fired a gun before - I think an AK-47 to start with and I'll move him up from there. Stay tuned...

Dom is on his way

Just watched dominic eat half a chicken at Sydney international airport. He flies into Ho Chi Minh city tomorrow at 5am and promised not to spend the night watching movies on the portable player they loan you.

Annika rang and was stunned to find out I'd met Dom on time. I've been teaching my siblings about the difficulties of life and how unpredictible nature is by being utterly unreliable at all times. I call it buidling trust.

Dominic will will soon enjoy that taxi trip from the airport the first time you go overseas to somewhere really different. It will be mindblowing. 9 milliion people in Ho Chi Minh city alone. Yikes.

Elephants and Rugby

Kimi has been focused on make-up, choreography and artistic direction.
Ever wondered why elephants don't do sports commentary? Probably not. Despite their long memories, and even longer noses, this may be an insight why.
Try this:

And out!
Brendan

Hot in Vietnam

What a great country. They've forgiven us for the war (they call it the American war here) and Jules and I have been free to roam around enjoying ourselves and enjoying the hospitality of the locals. We've been here a week but haven't reported because we're still trying to work out how to put pictures up. We had a few days in what used to be called Saigon and most of the time we've spent in the northern capital, Hanoi. Health has been good but Julia had a mild attack of heat stroke while we were trecking in the Halong Bay area - vomiting and headache - but she recovered quickly and we're now about to catch a sleeper train to the border of China for some high-altitude walking. My Dunlop Volleys will have a story to tell when we get back! Dom is joining us later next week for more adventures in the southern part of Vietnam. We visited the oldest uni in the world today (1070) and I ran into two people I work with at RMIT. While we were talking, the lady who owns Indochine, our local Vietnamese restaurant in Box Hill (Glenn and Sue have dined there) made herself known. It's a small world. Will send some pics from the south.

Adelaide vs Melbourne

The Adelaide Roffs have put on an excellent few days to compete with Melbourne Roffs hospitality and are neck and neck with relatives that Kate wants to come and live with....

We have had a great time dinning out, driving up into the hills, avoiding church tours and visiting local "Boho" pubs...
Rowan is in the middle of uni exams so occasionally pretends to study and Andrew is making all sorts of new friends in the courtroom he works in.

Damian I didn’t make the mistake of letting Fanny off the leash but heres a pic for ya...


Thanks to all who have spoilt me rotten, its been awesome to come back to Australia and fall straight into the arms of such a family :)

I am now heading back to Perth/Gero to teach for 6 months so that’s probably it for interesting blogs from Kate for a while. I'll still post blogs. They'll just be of wind farms and Cray fish.

K8

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENN OSBORNE ROFF

Many happy birthday wishes to our big Bro, Glenn, born 20/6/49 (i.e.last century) to Eileen and Neil who were so disappointed that they tried five more times to get one right and still failed! In spite of this we still love Glenn and thank him for Woodlawn Christmasses as well as just being a great brother, father, dodgy uncle, cousin, nephew, and now a (gag) GRANDFATHER! Have a big one, Glenn, but save something for the 60th!

Comings and Goings

TAG! Grant and Julia arrived safely in Vietnam on Friday, and like an efficient relay team, handed the Melbourne baton on to Kate, who managed to wrangle a few days “stop over” in Melbourne on her way home to WA. It was fantastic to see her and catch up on all the news and gossip from her year in the Americas. Saving the best until last, Kate flew to Adelaide today (after all, “it’s ok!”), but not before passing the international travel torch to Amanda who will leave for Spain tomorrow. Towards the end of July, one week after returning home (or more likely, to the site on which their house formerly stood), Mum and Dad will wave goodbye to me; on my way to Frankfurt airport where I hope to bump into Amanda as she ends, and I begin, a European adventure. The number plates might be right when they say Melbourne's “on the move”.

AFTER THE DELUGE

Thanks to everyone for their concern for us in the recent flooding in Newcastle: we had calls from all over Australia and even New Zealand. I am happy to report that we were quite lucky and suffered only very minor damage. The water was lapping the top step but didn't get into the house; the garage was under a foot or so (30cm to you youngsters) but only managed to drown an electric edger. The drain out the back was frightening - the speed and volume of water barreling down that confined space and smashing into the bridge at the end of the street was terrifying. Marianne wasn't able to make it home while the flood waters were up and had to be content with waiting it out at the Duke of Wellington Hotel (funny 'bout that!) so it was just me, Millie and her new beau trying to put things of value up. It was actually quite sad to realize at that time, that after thirty two years of work we don't really own anything of value! I put my records up, opened a bottle of wine and Millie and I sat back and watched the new beau's car disappear under water while he cooked dinner for us (might be a good catch this boy). About half a dozen cars in the street were lost but only two houses had water inside. The streets around us, however, suffered badly with lots of destruction and mess which is still being cleaned up. The water went down as quickly as it had risen and Marianne made it into our street just as I had set off to "rescue" her at the Duke.
Thanks again for all the calls - it was really appreciated.

Stuart

More Photos

Holy Cow Batman.

London Calling...

So, in an attempt to make up for not seeing Lach, Sal or Maisie yet I am claiming first visitor status for the X-man.
Was great to see Joe and Sar - who are both looking blissfully calm and euphoric, and it was really beautiful to see them getting to know the ropes in their new roles as parents. And hilarious watching Joe try to manage a baby sling.

Xavier is adorable and reminds me of a Koala, just curls up and sleep wherever you put him. He occasionally looks like he's about to burst out crying and then half way through decides its too much effort and falls back asleep. And no, he doesn't look like anyone, he looks like a baby if you ask me.












As for my travels, I am about to start the long journey home, and am well and truly sick of living out of a backpack. And Hostels. If i have to share a bedroom with 12 other people for one more night....
I was in Copenhagen for a few days, where everyone speaks at least 6 languages and the girls somehow even manage to look graceful riding bicycles in dresses. I was catching up with friends from uni so checked out the Danish beer culture and generally soaked up sunshine.


And for the last few days I have been running around London doing the tourist thing; free walking tours, west end plays, running into other Australians in Trafalgar Square, laughing at people in rush hour etc. I haven't bumped into any famous people yet but today might be the day...





European Fashion update: Black 3/4 leggings under short dresses. Some can pull it off (the Danes), some cannot (the English).

Amanda when you go to Spain, take a pair of scissors and see if you can fix up the men's hair fashion there - they are all sporting something that closely resembles a mullet, its not exactly the same, but there's definitely too much partying going on in the back there!

K8

Xavier

I feel sorry for all my cousins who live such shallow and meaningless lives....

However I don't include Kate in that assessment as she has come up to Oxford for the day and is our first visitor. The four of us are about to head up into town shortly for the whirlwind tour of Oxford. Great to see her, she looks great, hearing of her adventures over the last year makes us want to travel, but sounds as though she is looking forward to getting home to see some more family.

I know what you are all thinking, and I agree, he has a lot of work to do on his core stability and scapular control. I think it might be a reaction to the creatine I am putting in his milk.

Congratulations on the recent arrivals, from all Seages far and wide.
We assume the photo wars between proud fathers will begin in due course.
In the meantime:
If Newcastle people need to dry out for a few days, Mudgee also copped some rain just prior to last weekend, but rather than devestation the place has come up quite a treat, and a verdure not seen for many years. Here are some views from our shack last weekend:

That is Mudgee down in the fog, amidst the lowlanders.

And the view to the east, with Newcastle somewhere beyond the ranges.
Available for bahmitzvahs, christenings, weddings....
Poor Kimi has another two names to contend with for the next Roff Christmas. Maisie Ann maybe not a problem, but asked to spell Xavier responded with z-a-b-i-a, just as it sounds.

Happy Birthday Andrew

Sorry this is a bit late, but happy birthday for Monday. I will do the usual for my neglected Godson and buy a sci fi book, read it, and send it on. I am still reading that Thomas Covenant book, I keep getting distracted by other books. Hope you had a good Birthday!

Newcastle Report

Congrats to all the new babies and proud parents. You guys rock.

Just a quick note to say we all survived a couple of days without power and that I'm thoroughly addicted to natural disaster mode. Mum's a bit tuckered out after having all of her beautiful native trees end up on the ground in the back yard, and her car fill with water, but we narrowly avoided having the house flooded so for that we are gratefull.

We had a pile of debris in the backyard for most of Saturday but every neigbour in the street turned up and we removed the whole lot in 10 minutes. Brings out the best in some, and the worst in others (an ambulance was looted while the paramedics were piggy backing a heart attack victim through the flood water, they took the radio and some other stuff that could be re-sold).

Have a look in the photo below at the angle of the massive tree behind mum. We spent all day trying to get someone to cut it down (SES said to call back if it lands on the house). Finally, at sunset we found someone, he arrived on his own with a chainsaw and an abseiling harness and scampered up the tree and took the whole thing down in about 20mins. Our next door niegbours were greatly relieved. So we cleaned up this....

... but it turned into this. Which is still there unfortunately. But the tree cutter promised to come back when he can.

ABC local radio came out as the real hero of the piece, helping individuals and the community with public safety announcements and updates. It meant the SES etc. only needed to call one group and know the info would be disseminated. They worked around the clock, except during the Newcastle Knights game, which was broadcast in full and uninterrupted.

We ran into the Newcastle Roff's on our way back from checking out the beached coal ship. A spectacular site. I wish they would reopen the beach so I could go for a surf next to the ship. Mum's going down now to look at the flood waters in the harbour which are full of interesting articles like logs, fridges, cows etc. Monica and I are back in Sydney sans car which is full of water. Turning on the ignition locks the doors instead of starting the engine so I fear we may have some electrical wierdness.

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In addendum, R.I.P. Greg Heys, a one time Mayor of Newcastle and a good family friend. He died of a heart attack last week in an unrelated incident. Our sympathies to his daughter Sarah, son Matthew and wife Wendy. His funeral is tomorrow.

Greg was involved with several environmental and social projects and spent the past year fighting to reopen Newcastle's historic Regal Cinema.

Hill Fire

Rowan and I were fortunate enough to catch the Hills descending on Adelaide for the Queen's Birthday long weekend judo championships. It was held at the Adelaide Superdrome which is a velodrome. From the outside the building resembles the tail of a Morton Bay bug (or a Balmain bug depending on where you come from).

We learned a lot about Judo and the point scoring system, which is complicated. There are Kokos (lowest), Yukos, W's (?) and the best of all, an instant win for Ippohs where you deck your opponent flat on his or her back. If the opponenent is being defensive the spectators shout out "SHITO" (phoenetics: sheeto) which, if the judges agree, gives you at least a Koko point.

Compared to a sport like tennis, this is great. Each match takes a maximum of 5 minutes, unless it is a draw in which case they keep going until there is a result. The spectators are allowed to shout out loud at any point, and apparently giving the judges some hints is de rigeur. The judges scores are instantaneously displayed on electronic score boards for the crowd's consideration. Forget about one hour sets at the French Open, this is much more exciting.

We were made very welcome in the ACT camp and were happy to suspend our South Australian bias to barrack for the visitors. Tom was awesome and, as the top seed, was under a lot of pressure. He ended up winning his event, defeating the 'young gun' from Victoria in short time in the final. Tom's sister Debbie was the team 'mum' and kept all the scores so the team knew what was going on. Debbie also competed and came third in her section. Tom's brother Matt is a bit of a character but obviously well respected because the younger team members were regularly seeking his advice. He made the semi-finals despite refereeing inconsistencies (see match report below).



This is Matt and Mikaeli. I may not have spelt Mikaeli's name correctly, it is a difficult name like Marianne. Matt, according to Tom, competes less on technique and more on enthusiasm. In one match we witnessed, Matt pulled the shirt over the opponent's head and kneed him in the family jewels. We yelled out "SHITO", implying an overly defensive attitude from Matt's opponent. Matt reported he had a difficult semi-final, where the judges failed to recognise a brilliant throw he made and consequently he lost on points. He awarded his opponent a clip on the ear and suggested out loud that the judges were 'effen seas' reflecting what I suspect is a nautical background. We in Adelaide are used to umpires, particularly from Melbourne, ripping us off, so we can sympathise. The good news was Matt was not suspended.

When he's not competing, Tom is actually very sociable. Given the recent changes in Australian rugby, I will be writing to John O'Neill to suggest that Tom be engaged to advise the Wallabies on body height in the rucks (has anyone else noticed how much ball 'Sharpie' loses in a ruck or maul?) and ball stripping. What Tom doesn't know isn't worth knowing. Readers of my earlier blogs will acknowledge my urgings to bring Robbie Deans on board as coach - suddenly after two years it's a good idea?

This is a very rare photo. The match, one of the heats, lasted ten seconds. Tom is in the blue uniform. Tom likes to wear out his opponents in the first four minutes and go for the Ippoh in the fifth minute but on average his bouts lasted for about 50 seconds in Adelaide. My tip: avoid talking politics with him: just agree!

Ash

Welcome to Xavier Lewis Roff

With great pleasure we announce the arrival of Xavier Lewis Roff - born 9/6/07 @ Oxford. Sarah is fine. Xavier was 8lbs neat. Joe was there at the birth and was definitely moved by the experience. He was incredibly happy and proud. We haven't congratulated Sar yet but whilst I type the grandmothers are planning and scheming.

Newcastle-on-sea

Adam and Nicholas were planning to put new insulation in the roof of Cathie's house in Hamilton this weekend but it looks like the agenda has changed somewhat. Cathie's backyard is under water and her chooks are standing on the roof of their shed. The beautiful frangipani tree at the rear of the house is at a 45 degree lean and, according to a report from Amanda, Adam is waiting for the SES to arrive to cut it down before it falls on the neighbour's house. In the meantime, a tree from the neighbour's house on the other side has fallen into Cathie's yard and destroyed the clothes line. All of this is, of course, a microcosm of the mess the rest of Newcastle is in. How about that ship on Nobbies? Amanda tells me half a dozen ambulances just floated away in the downpour and were looted for drugs and electrical equipment before they could be recovered. It could take a while to have a first-hand blog account of the action as there's no power in the town but I'm sure Adam will be on the case soon.

Adelaide reports. You believe.

Hello family! It's been a while. I've been busy, but not in an interesting way like Adam (producing cool video clips) or Jake and Kelly (producing children).

For the past month or so I've been the work experience kid at a law firm. As Daniel will no doubt attest, a career in the law is very glamourous. Today, I was awarded the highest compliment a law clerk can obtain: after a successful mission to the Supreme Court library, I was dubbed a ‘good photocopier’!

Photocopying is a vital skill for any aspiring lawyer. Even if you’re crap at legal research, even if you can’t argue your way out of a paper bag, if you’re a good photocopier you’ll be okay. People will like you because they can get you to do photocopying. And, let’s face it, no one likes to do photocopying.

The downside to being a good photocopier is that word of my prowess will soon spread through the office. So far in my four weeks here I’ve only had to photocopy one article and one case, but now that everyone knows I am available and competent re photocopying duties, I may be in hot demand.

In addition to my work experience, the past month has involved a crazy series of job interviews to try and get some summer work at law firms. Through practice I've gone from being very bad at job interviews to being passable, and after much suspense I've ended up scoring gigs at two different Adelaide offices. Which is good news for my career plans, and terrible news for my plans to goof off over the summer uni holidays.

Mum and dad have gone away somewhere this week, so Phanny's been looking after Rowan at the folks' house. Luckily, now that Rowan's at university he's turned into quite a sensible young man, and I'm sure he wouldn't have orginised any wild parties in mum and dad's absence.

...fairly sure.

The Paper Scissors - Yamanote Line

Welcome to Maisie Anne Roff

Congratulations to Jake and Kel on the production very early this morning (just after midnight) of a 10lb-plus girl who has been named Maisie Anne. Mother and child are reported to be well and more details will, I'm sure, be following.

Still waiting...

I'm sure we'll get the baby news eventually but, in the meantime, life goes on. Dom made it back into the Australian Open ballkid squad meaning he must have had a good report from last year. The good news for us is daily free tickets to the Open so keep it in mind if you're thinking of visiting. The senior ballkids (him, this year) tend to get the bigger matches so, once again, keep your eye on the TV. It's a great couple of weeks for him with lots of Tennis Australia money to spend on take-away food and daily encounters with the rich and famous. Those of you who haven't read down as far as Damian's Armidale sports report probably won't know that Dom finally scored in soccer last week. Defenders usually don't get scoring opportunities. The only downside to the experience was that the goalkeeper he beat with his header was his own. I keep telling him it was still a goal but it doesn't seem to be cheering him up. They went down 4-2 to the ladder leaders and it was a great game. Nick has started full-time work but I don't have many details. How about a blog, Nick? I noticed Telstra is sacking a few hundred call center workers in Newcastle so he might have got in just in time. Jules has started her long service leave and I left her this morning reading a book in bed! Expect a review of Isabel Allende's "Daughter of Fortune" in the near future. Annika continues to work hard for little money but has saved enough to ensure she has a good time when she leaves for Europe in July. It's good news that Kate will be here for a few days later this month but we won't see her, unfortunately, as we leave for Vietnam two days earlier. Okay - next blog MIGHT be about new kids on the block...

Postings from Sue (via Jake)

Sue wanted me to post this shot that she took of the 'Rock'n'rollers' - They sure did tear Byron apart!

This is a shot of Sally, who can't walk yet, using her inherited upper body strength to pull herself up into her pram!
Sue's caption competition. What are these two looking at?

Jake

mi casa, su casa

Greetings dear family,
How i miss you all, especially the nice ones.
I'm writing of my impending departure... i have somehow lucked on to a holiday in Spain.
It sounds like a very civilized country. Apparently shops and businesses shut at midday, and everyone goes home for a sleep. But wait, there's more! Then they all get back up again in the early evening to watch soap operas and have a sherry. Dinner is about 10pm, then its out to walk around looking gorgeous in the medieval cobble stoned laneways and possibly stay out dancing and drinking in bars till dawn. Fearful of suffering massive culture shock, i have been adopting this life-style here at home, so the transition will be an easy one.
I have also been working flat out in the lead up, my boss at the Tote Hotel is away, so i have been full time there, booking all manner of grind-core bands, country singers, and doo-wop groups to please the punters. I have also been minding the bookings at two other pubs, for a friend who is on tour with his band "Made for Chickens by Robots". (He is the only person in his band. He claims to be very big in Eastern Europe.) The best part of that job is that my office is a caravan in the beer garden of one of the pubs. I usually work there at night, and it is freezing! But I can get beer and meals delivered to the van by the attractive bar staff as I work. They do a very good calamari salad, and the bio-dynamic pork chops are genius.
I don't have too much in the way of an itinerary, but there is one point in my journey that i will be meeting up with 10 of my closest friends in a house in "Vejer de la frontera" (google it and weep). It's convenient having friends in touring bands. Then we might pop over to Morrocco for a bit of Morroccan Roll. Plans are loose at this stage. But if you want to check out the casa that is mine and therefore yours, try this :

http://www.costa-luz-holiday.com/item_details.asp?id=585

Yes that's right, the jacuzzi only seats seven so there might be a bit of tension in the house...but alot of musicians are scared of water so it will probably turn out ok..
I'll let you know
Ciao for now! xxx

Rowing

Without any actual pending and important news from Oxford, I am blogging on with news of the just finished 4 day summer VIII's rowing regatta. Short of a big organisational effort on the Lismore river at the next Roff Christmas I can't see that I will ever get a chance to row again, so thought I would give it a go. Disclaimer; The bow ties were the boat captains idea (they don't need encouragement here to wear bow ties)

From the look on my face (which Sarah found quite amusing) her assessment was that 'yes in life you have to tick these things off so I will, but I would rather pass on the hard work if it is all the same'. I deny that I have ever opted out of hard work; Sar begs to differ.

Anyway, this tournament is based on bumps, and the concept is that all the boats start lined up behind each other and you have to either bump the boat in front of you or at the least not get bumped by the boat behind.

If you bump the boat in front 4 days in a row you get 'blades', the greatest honour you can get. If you get bumped 4 days in a row you get 'spoons'.

Our crew won spoons! Yes, we were bumped 4 days in a row. Despite my overbearing father telling me that 'anything other than 1st is last' we had a good time and we took it in good spirits. Sar and I celebrated long into the afternoon by the shore.
I would like to take this opportunity to announce my retirement from competitive rowing. After an illustrious 3 week career the physical and mental fatigue has taken its toll and I have decided to devote more time to my family at this stage of my life.

I would like to thank my supporters, family, and friends who have been with me through the good strokes and bad....

Woodlawn stuff

G'day from Woodlawn. As seen above, we like to take walks on the oval and around the school. We still appreciate this place as a great place to live. I just typed an epic story about the Jake and Kelly Roff story, but the computer decided that it wasn't cool enough, and erased it! Truthfully though, there was't much substance, as (take note here cousins) we have become parents of a small loveable child who needs our full attention and doesn't allow us to have our own lives as we once knew them. In saying that, have a look at this kid, and tell me that you cousins are not inspired to just get out there and start breeding.

Alright, that's all we've got. When we have number two son, we will make sure that the Roff Report is the first to know. Seeya!!

Armidale Sport Pages

Soccer - Luke plays for the Demons in the under 7's and although there is no league (it still freaks me out) his team has 3 wins and 1 draw. Luke is a goal scoring machine with a double in all games bar the last which was just a single. Cal's team is the Corinthians which has the massive disadvantage of me being the coach and is consequently 1 from 4 in the 12's but they will be in the same grade next year.

Hockey- Amy is in the primary schools division and plays for Harlequins. Her team is undefeated at present and Amy is having a RHG. Jenny looks like playing in the upcoming NSW Vets (Old people not animal carers) tournament.

Tennis - Cal and Amy play in a few tournaments in the North West tour which is pretty competitive. If you look up the NSW tennis site and then the links to North West you can follow their progress. I play in Tuesday night comp with Cal and a singles duel is looming. Since last night here was -5 degees, I have a distinct advantage with my warming layer of subcutaneous body fat.

Rugby - Cal plays for St Mary's in the local comp. They have beat Armidale City Public and the Evil Empire TAS but lost to Ben Venue last week. I am refereeing Scone V St Alberts tomorrow.

Jumping on people from behind - pretty hard to go past Lily here but she really needs a manager like Vince McMahon or Playboy Gary Hart to be the intercontinental champion.

It is a rule here that everyone has to go to school.

Waiting, waiting...

I can't stand the tension: where are the new babies? ANY advice would be welcome. Hope all is well. I distracted myself last night by watching the state-of-origin. One of the great things about league is that, after you've seen it, you immediately forget how mind-numbingly stupid it is and, when you see "state-of-origin two" in the tv guide a week later, you think, "Hmm, I wouldn't mind seeing that". All's okay in Melbourne. Julia is about to leave for a weekend with some of her mates down the Great Ocean Road and Annika isn't here so Dom and I will spend most of Saturday buying and eating meat. He has a bye with tennis this week but has ballboy selection for the Australian Open on Sunday. Because he made it last year, he skips the first part of the selection trials. If he gets in, he'll probably get more senior games. He really enjoyed it last year and is keen to do it again. His soccer team had its first victory last week (1-0) in round three but it's A-grand this year and the competition is fierce. Annika is working hard, saving money and is in good spirits. Won't be long now before the plane takes off. Nick called today from Newcastle to say he'd been offered a job with an insurance company. I'm not sure of the details at the moment but the money is good and I'm sure he'll appreciate it. More details as they emerge. I got a rough copy of the new Ukeladies CD from Amanda yesterday and it's excellent. I'm sure it will be on high rotation in ALL Roff households and cars when it becomes commercially available. She's also started playing bass again in a new band. I'll send a copy of the Ukeladies CD up to Adam and perhaps he can put one of the songs on the blog. I also found a copy of the classic Australian film, "Bonnie to the rescue" a few days ago and will send that up as well. It's strange seeing Dom, Bonnie and other family members as they were five years ago. I had a weekend of luxury recently on the Mornington Peninsula with my only multi-millionaire friend and had a drive in his half-million C-type Jaguar (Le Mans winner in the early '50s). Watch this space for pictures. Fingers crossed for the new babies...

Help

I did think that when children moved out - they moved out. Apparently not. My feet are killing me, the washing machine has not stopped, the grocery bill climbed $200 and I can not get near the TV. I have to apparently watch the 34inch with the rabbit ears in the back room and clean up after cooking roast lamb (requested by Alaine). Not only that, Nick was the last to use the internet and blog and now we have had to try and remember what our username and password are. It is not pleasant here at the moment. And I am sure you all know my feelings on Sienfeld and South Park - far from my favourite shows and that is all I can see on the TV. Help!!!